Saturday, May 31, 2008

A mixed day

Or how to cope with happy exciting things and sad events at the same time.

Basically that's what I had to do today.
This morning I went to the funeral of an old friend's mom.
I don't like funerals.
They play with your emotions.
I like emotions, don't get me wrong, I think I know how to handle them; how to let them fill you when they're growing, how to enjoy/experience them at the fullest and how to smoothly let them fade away when the peak has been reached.
But since the funeral of my grandma, more than 10 years ago now, I've decided I don't like them.

First of all I was late today.
Yep... I'll be that guy that's too late for his own funeral... I'm quite certain about that.

And then during the service you try to think of as many things as possible, except what this service is actually about.... because, well speaking for myself, if you do go along with the 'vibe' of the funeral, you get very, very, veryvery sad. (And for me that means tears pouring down like a shower, which I try to avoid as much as possible in public)
So, this policy of mine worked quite well today.
What you also do know and realise very well during a funeral is that all of us are very mortal. And that there is a time for everyone to go. There's no escape. (At least, not yet...)

Fortunately for me, this sad event brought me back in touch with my old friend, Francis, whom I hadn't seen for about 10 years. It's not really the most enjoyable circumstances to meet up again, but still, it had something hopeful. He also looked hopeful, notwithstanding he had just lost his mom.
Quite brave, actually, I know for a fact that if it were me, I'd be a total mess... A sad bag of misery, not being able to smile and talk to the people the way he did today.
And thàt made me feel better.
We've signed the contract for the house as well today, that's great, but the idea of Francis being ok, and moving on, taking his exams next month, basically looking up and walking on through life, ... That's made my day.

3 comments:

Jan said...

Dag Tim,
Bedankt om een blog te starten. Ik leef mee met je. Goed nieuws, droevig nieuws ... 't laat me niet koud.
Veel geluk in je nieuw eigen huis ! 'k Wou dat ik bij gelegenheid eens een handje kon toesteken. Zoiets als een "instuif" bij grootvader ?
Veel groetjes en geluk met Cate en James.
Jan.

Tozansha said...

Isn't is amazing how stong some people can be?!? Would your mind only allow a certain amount of sadness so you can handle stuff at some times?
Glad you got the contract signed!! Let the construction work begin!

Kirsten said...

yea I am not a fan of funerals, and I belive in an after life. I can't imagine how it must have been for you.